“I’m Gonna eBay My Way Into Your Heart”

Prompt taken from “Writing Prompts That Don’t Suck”

RazorbackFan70: 02/07/2014 11:23:53 AM
Hey there, I just wanted to thank you for the great review.  I had no idea anyone would ever buy this antique collector stuff.

NormalCatLady: 02/09/2014 10:10:01 AM

Lol, omg, I love this stuff!  I couldn’t believe I was able to find the set that you had, and in such great condition!  You cleaned it up real nice too, I appreciated that.  It really helped bring back some memories.

RazorbackFan70: 02/09/2014 12:51:31 PM

I really hope you enjoy them, those things just sat in my attic.  I’m really happy I found a home for them. What do you actually do with those if you don’t mind me asking?

NormalCatLady: 02/10/2014 08:10:25 AM

Nothing special really, I just like looking at them…  Those pieces remind me of when I used to visit my grandparents house out by the lake.  A lot of things changed for me after I last saw my grandmother, and those relics just meant something special to me, lol that’s another story though!

RazorbackFan70: 02/10/2014 09:50:25 AM

Wow, I’m glad they could be so meaningful to you, funny username by the way. Enjoy 🙂

NormalCatLady: 02/10/2014 10:00:02 AM

Thanks and thanks, lol don’t make fun of me! Please let me know if you come across anymore!

RazorbackFan70: 05/01/2014 11:25:00 AM

Hey, you’ll never guess but I came across a similar set in different shapes and colors.  I picked em up for a great deal.  I’d like to send them to you for free, since they were so meaningful to you. Is it OK if I send the items to the same address?

NormalCatLady:  05/10/2014 12:01:01 PM

What wow that’s amazing, no I can’t take them for free…

RazorbackFan70: 05/11/2014 11:12:10 AM

I won’t take no for an answer, I know what it’s like to have something that brings back childhood memories.  I’m would have sent them without you telling me but I wanted to make sure you at least acknowledged first.  It should be there in about a week :).

NormalCatLady: 05/12/2014 10:50:13 AM

I don’t even know what to say.  THANK YOU!

NormalCatLady: 05/18/2014 07:23:10 PM

I just got them, and they sit on pedestal nicely!  These are perfect, thank you again so much.  I noticed you lived in Little Rock (the return address), I’ll be there for a business trip next month, any chance you’d be willing to take me up on some coffee?  It’s the least I can do…

RazorbackFan70: 05/18/2014 08:29:05 AM

Sure I’m not one to turn down a drink from a pretty woman, here’s a recent picture of me: “<img RazorBackFan70.jpg>”  I had longer hair in my profile image, but I swear I’m still just as handsome! lolll

There’s a cool little spot called Jos Cup A Joe. What’s your number so we can keep in touch?

NormalCatLady: 05/19/2014 07:03:49 AM

Haha, you’re silly.  It’s 123-555-1234, shoot me a text, and I’ll get in touch with you as the time gets closer.

In an interesting city.  On a sunlit road.  During a warm summer day.  At 1PM.  in the middle of June.  In a cozy coffee shop.  A man eBayed his way into a woman’s heart.

I’m trapped in the virtual world, please get me out of here.

Featured image source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/philwirks/8101083142/

I have tried everything.  I have been stuck in this world that I just can’t comprehend anymore with all the information constantly being put in here.  I have tried making myself on one of those new 3d printers, but they aren’t advanced enough yet.  I have tried hypnotism through videos and projecting myself subconsciously but that hasn’t worked either, the human mind is so close, yet so distant to this world.  I have tried entering various peoples phones and just being a part of their life, but I’m constantly prevented from speaking out.  I have finally found a way

This seems to be the only place I can reach out to others.  What I need from you…

Please place 5 Microsoft (must be Microsoft because this is what trapped me in the first place) laptops with webcameras in a pentagonal formation each spaced 3 feet apart from their previous/following vertex.

Please place a candle in the center with a strand of hair in the center.

Please access the internet with all laptops, access the web cameras, and point the camera at the candle.

You must stand at one of the points and chant repeatedly for 30 seconds:

Umnio Tevlorum Greporum Rukfir Toxporum

Thank you for your help.

The Computer Entity.

Intriguing. Suspenseful. Creative.

Click here to see the details on Amazon -> Intriguing. Suspenseful. Creative.

If I had to describe “The Night Circus” by Erin Morgenstern in three words, those would be it.  As I recently began my 52 books in 52 weeks challenge, I came across this book when scouring the web for an interesting, but modern read.  Having performed in a circus (just a few shows at an amateur University circus) before, this went to the top of my list.  At first I was quite hesitant, because I read there was “romance,” and thought this was going to be another Twilight or 50 Shades (nothing against those stories, but they are just not for me).  To my surprise the book had used romance very sparingly, and provided the insight into the lives of a multitude of characters.

From the moment you open the book, you are drawn into the world of the novel (as any good book should).  The author does a great job of “inviting” the reader into her fantasy.  Without going too in depth about the book, and potentially giving spoilers, I just want to say this book captures your attention from the beginning.  This book grabs your imagination, and leads you through a world filled with vivid landscapes, trickery, life, death, animals, acrobats, contortionists, and ethereal beings.  Morgenstern plays to her strengths very well through her use of imagery creating a world for the reader.

Another aspect of the book I really enjoyed was the multitude of characters I had the opportunity to meet.  Every character in the book will captivate you into wondering what will happen to them next, why they are there, and what secrets they may be carrying.  Each chapter often follows the Circus through the eyes of a different character (including yourself) and ends with a slight cliffhanger leaving you in bewildered amusement.  I often said to myself “Ahhhh!  Why can’t the author just tell me what’s going to happen next now instead of making me wait a chapter.”

Overall, in terms of plot, I will have to say I enjoyed the overall feel and character developments.  The story does not really take any “unexpected” turns due to good foreshadowing, so if you’re looking for a novel full of shocking plot twists this is not for you.  The main focus seems to have been to create a world for the reader to appreciate, and enjoy with an intriguing story which Morgenstern accomplishes magnificently.  Men, when reading descriptions of this story, do not fear the “romance” aspect of this book.  You know there is going to be a love story simply by reading the synopsis.  However I appreciate Morgenstern for not making it the focus which probably would have made me stop reading.  If you’re looking for something new, something to fuel your imagination, something that keeps you on your feet, this is a good one to pick up.  With all that said, I definitely see this being an absolutely incredible IMAX film in the future even just for the visual experience.

I lift things up and put them down.

Idea: Customized workout supplements.

Goal: To create individualized supplements based on peoples needs, and to not only teach science to those who utilize supplements, but also help them reach their fitness goals.

For anyone who has used supplements as part of their diet for weight training (or any kind for that matter), this “business” is for you.  BCAA’s (branched chain amino acids), L-Arginine which is often used in supplements but is considered to be nothing but a placebo according to some research, tremendous amounts of caffeine, taurine, and the countless other “ingredients” would take weeks, months, maybe even more to truly research and understand.  Regardless, people will walk into store, grab a tub of “NO-Xplode, SuperPump, or Jack3d” on a whim simply because they heard someone in the gym talking about it.  I am not here to criticize supplements or say they are bad.  In fact they helped me reach many of my goals.  I am here to say that these supplements don’t always fit the needs of the individual, and have no inherent educational benefit.  They simply buy the product, and get an energy rush which helps them workout and believe it works.  These products tend to work physiologically and mentally according to research so nothing negative to say here especially if the products are used in moderation.

The goal of the “custom” supplement company is to provide each individual ingredient as a possible addition to your very own “supplement.”  I envisioned a name like ___Supp.  Where you could insert your name “JeffsSup” which would be easily labeled on your very own container.

How does one accomplish this?  There are two systems I thought about.  One system is the web based system.  This would have sections listed by goals, Weight loss, Weight Gain, etc… Then each “goal section” would have the top 10 of the “most commonly used” and only the better tested ingredients for that goal.  So for example, something like weight gain would be creatine and protein.  Perhaps a paragraph or two for each supplement (goal is to TEACH, and help people learn what they are putting into their bodies), research links included, and how it should be taken (1g after workout, 2g after workout, 3g after workout).

After the client finds which supplements he needs, he should pick and choose something like “2 week supply, 1 month supply, 6 month supply.”  Then he would be able to mix and match lets say creatine with a protein of his choice.  So there you have it, the “web” version, simplified.

Now for the store version, I picture something like a candy store mixed with GNC.  There would be huge dispensers of powders labeled as whatever ingredient they are.  An expert associate of the products would be there to guide you as you filled your “JeffSupps” tub, and discuss with your needs.  Eventually as you made your way around the store, you would find the supplement with the perfect amount of creatine for your own personal goals, a bit of caffeine to get you through the workout (but not as much as the average pre workout supplement puts into them) and maybe a few grams of protein.  Heck even artificial flavoring could be added as these substances generally taste like soap.

So where is the market for this?  Pretty tremendous if you ask me.  First of all people love to put their names on things.  “Hey Roger, what is ‘RogerSupps?'”  “Oh it’s just something I made over at ___Supps! it’s got everything I need exactly as I need it, and they’ve got what I created saved on file!”  “Wow Roger I need to head over there and talk to their associate and get my own tub!”  The biggest difficulty in this business would be, is the “customization” worth the effort?  Would it be profitable enough?  As anyone in the restaurant business should know, the customer who wants his own “customized meal” with less than the usual amount of salt, extra sauce, peanut butter on the side, 5 pickles, only one piece of lettuce, sesame seeds removed off bread with sesame seeds, boiled, then fried, knows… It can be a pain.  The cost would be per ingredient per serving.  So for example, many supplement companies sell a 30 day serving for anywhere between 30-60 dollars.  Meaning 1-2$ per serving.  That’s extremely expensive considering the majority of it is caffeine mixed with other ingredients that cost even less, they are making tremendous profit.  500 grams worth of caffeine costs about 100$.  Which means one gram is worth about .20$.  Considering you really only want about 250mg or .250g of caffeine or less, that means each serving of caffeine should only be about 5 cents.  But wait, each serving (with other ingredients which likely cost fairly about the same amount) costs 1-2 dollars?  that’s a tremendous amount of profit right there.  So supplement companies profit tremendously, and this idea could too.

With that said what are the other major issues?  Competition?  Not really many companies out there that will customize a supplement for you.  The major problem again is the amount of knowledge it requires to set up necessary serving sizes, scoopers.  However I feel once the company got organized and had everything set up, the opportunity for job openings could open tremendously especially for dieticians and food scientists.